Heat
by Sassyblondexoxo
Summary: After a mistake ends in tragedy, a rift forms between two brothers. The family struggles to hold together as an old enemy resurfaces, threatening to destroy everything that they hold dear.
1. Up from the Ashes

**Author's Note:**

I've been talking myself out of doing this for a long time, but I finally gave into the nagging in my head. This is my first attempt, and I have no idea how it will be received (especially as it gets going), let alone if people will even read it. Please review, positive or otherwise, so I know if this is worth spending time on. I appreciate it!

I realize that the some of the basics of this story are nothing new, but I PROMISE that I will take you on a very INTERESTING and CONTROVERSIAL ride. So go ahead and hop on!

A little background – takes place 6 years after the first movie, which I'll say is now present day. The guys are around twenty two. Rating is for language, violence, drug/alcohol use, adult themes, and implied sexual situations/references (so pretty much everything!) Also be WARNED – character death both sooner and later.

-Sassyblondexoxo

**CHAPTER 1: UP FROM THE ASHES**

"**What doesn't kill us makes us stronger." -Nietzsche**

**OROKU SAKI**

The sky was just beginning to fade to black as the sun dipped below the horizon. There were no more cars driving on the street outside – they knew better than that. Not in this neighborhood. Not after dark.

I felt the breeze whip through my robe as I stepped out onto the balcony. It groaned under my weight, but the metal stayed steady. The spaces between the grates were rather large, and it was almost dizzying to be able to see the ground eight floors below.

The air outside was chilly, but that was to be expected. May in New York was always finicky. Sometimes it seemed like a coin flip was the most scientific way to predict the weather. I reached back and pulled out the rubber band that tied my hair. Over the last few years I'd stopped cutting it, and the ends now fell past my shoulders. Its amazing how one little thing can make you look so different.

Looking to the street below, I watched a man step out of a second-hand furniture store and quickly lock the door behind him. It was Friday, and somewhere in this city there was a bar stool with his name on it. He turned his back to me and trotted hastily down the street.

There were very few stores left in this neighborhood. As break-ins became more and more common, few could afford to keep them open. The vast majority of the buildings had been converted into "low income housing," as the city liked to call it. It was only a little after 6 o'clock, and already I could see a dealer sitting on the steps of his apartment building. Soon, the prostitutes would be walking back and forth on the sidewalk below me. I smiled silently to myself.

_It was good to be back_.

I'd always known that I would, but the time hadn't seemed right until now. Fear? Maybe. But the truth of the matter was that I really _did_ enjoy the new life that I'd made for myself. Solo work had its gratifications, and the money was intoxicating.

_Besides, something inside of me had broken on that fateful night six years ago._

It had taken a long time to recover. My injuries were substantial, and I spent the greater part of six months healing. The most disturbing had been the injury to my right arm, my sword arm. Even now I don't have full sensation in my finger tips. But it hasn't seemed to be a problem. At least not so far.

I ran my finger down the scar on my left cheek. I couldn't look in the mirror without being constantly reminded. They'd left a permanent and visible mark for the world to see, every moment of every day. That pissed me off more than my arm.

The mental damage had been worse. They haunted my dreams, and I'd find myself waking in the middle of the night, covered in sweat. My confidence was shaky, and it took a long time for me to return work. I used to be untouchable. Only one person in my past had ever been able to beat me at my game, and he'd ended up with a knife in his chest. For a while, I thought that dying would have been a better outcome than being defeated by five freaks. But as in most circumstances, time heals. And throughout the following years, I've grown stronger.

"Master?"

Kalin's voice didn't startle me. I knew he was there from the minute he walked into my chamber. I turned to face him. He stood tentatively in the balcony doorway, arms hanging loosely at his sides. He was dressed nicely, black pants and a silver shirt with an oversize collar. His sleeves were rolled, and a number of silver chains decorated his left wrist.

"Good news I hope."

"Yes, Master. Lux has agreed to meet with you. But she'd rather do it on the main floor."

I smirked. She felt threatened by me. "Fine. Tell her ten minutes."

He nodded, lowering his eyes and walking out of the room. His steps were smooth and remarkably silent for someone of his size. He shut the door just as soundlessly.

Kalin is my new prodigy, an apprentice so to speak. After the dissolution of the Foot Clan, I left New York City. I'd thought about returning to Japan, but disgrace kept me in the States. They would never take me back, and even if they did, it would take years to earn back their respect. Eventually ending up in Washington D.C., I found my new calling.

_Assassin. Hit man. Murder for hire_. Whatever you wanted to call me, I was good at what I did. Word spread quickly about my skill, and I never had to look hard for a job. I was hired by many different groups, from the mob to politicians to high-class businessmen. The money started rolling in faster than I could spend it. But it didn't matter – it was the thrill of the kill that kept me coming back for more. It was like a drug, and every time I dealt a final blow, I imagined the day that I would take my revenge.

_Cold and Ruthless_. I'd make them regret the day they were born. There was no way in hell it would be fast. I was going in with a clear head, and I had plans for them. I knew how to hit 'em where it hurt, and I was going to take my time.

Kalin and I had met almost a year ago now, when we were co-hired to kill a prominent company executive. The job was intricate, and our employer thought that he needed at least two guys to pull it off. At only 18 years old, I felt mocked at the idea of teaming up with someone so young. But the African American teenager made me eat my words. He was martial arts trained like myself, but was also skilled with automatic weapons. I didn't know much about his past, only that he grew up on a military base. Both his father and mother were in the navy, and much of his fighting ability came naturally to him. He'd had numerous martial arts instructors, which led to him developing his own unique style. Intelligence, skill, and physical strength. An ideal partner.

I'd asked him once why he didn't join the military himself. After all, it seemed a natural progression to follow in his parents' footsteps. He'd replied angrily, and said it was none of my business. I sensed bad blood between him and his father, a common story in this day and age. _Fine_. I could live with that.

During the time leading up to the hit, Kalin and I spent our free time training together and telling stories of our previous jobs. It turned out that I actually enjoyed his company. He was extremely talented, but still had much to learn before he reached his true potential. He showed respect for me, for my skill and natural leadership. And so it came, that after our job was complete, we stayed together.

_Teacher and student. Like Homato Yoshi and Oroku Saki. _

_Except now I was in charge._

Kalin learned my story slowly, in small, fragmented pieces. It took months before I trusted my student enough to tell him. He'd heard of the Foot clan, and knew the responsibility they'd had for the New York crime wave. But the clan's fall from grace had been a mystery to him. At first, he had simply shaken his head in disbelief.

His reaction was completely understandable. Who in their right mind would have believed me? To think that creatures like that actually existed, let alone were singly responsible for bringing down one of the most powerful gangs in New York? It was ludicrous.

I'll never know if he trusted my word in and of itself. His confirmation would come later. Months passed in D.C., and I grew edgy. The days were starting to blend together, and I realized that I was missing something.

_Power_.

Not the kind that money brings, because God knows I had enough of that. I missed being in charge, the thrill of looking into the eyes of those I commanded, seeing the fear. Knowing that people respected me enough to do anything I asked. It was a hunger that I felt growing inside, and finally it was too strong to ignore. I knew I was ready to start over. And this time, it would be different.

I told Kalin what I was planning, offering him the option of joining me or remaining in D.C.. He never hesitated. I could almost see the dreams of grandeur dancing behind his eyes. He was ready to be a part of something big, and I was offering it to him on a silver platter.

Deep down, I was relieved that he'd agreed to help me. Oh, sure, I could do it on my own, but I couldn't deny his skill. He would definitely be a valuable asset.

Nervous excitement coursing through my body, I stepped back into my room and began dress. My black silk robe fell into a heap on the floor, and I didn't bother picking it up. Looking through my armoire, I pulled out one of my most expensive training outfits. The fabric was blood red, and a single black sash tightened the material to my waist. Once again I tied my hair back, placing it tightly under a shiny lycra head cover.

I glanced quickly at myself at the mirror. Satisfied with my appearance, I tucked a small dagger into my waistband, another into my boot. My sword belt came next, and I decided that I single katana was all that would be necessary. After all, she was only a woman. How she'd reached her current position was still a mystery to me.

After locking my balcony door, I quickly surveyed my room, ensuring that everything was secure. The room was actually quite expansive now that the two adjoining walls had been taken down. I bought this building two months ago, from a man who was more than happy to be rid of it. It used to be a hotel, but had been sitting empty for over a year after the owner went bankrupt. It was in bad shape, and the part of town it occupied hadn't been conducive to any interested buyers. It most likely would have been condemned if I hadn't rescued it. To me, it was perfect. Perfect size, perfect part of town, perfectly hidden from anyone who would care.

I'd spent a fair amount of money cleaning up the inside. A new floor for the main level, and most of the inside had been repainted. The basement was completely gutted and opened up, the perfect space for a new training room. But I hadn't touched the outside. A few of the contractors I'd highered had questioned me about the exterior, but hadn't pressed me further when I said to leave it alone. They were puzzled enough to why I was spending money on the inside, considering the neighborhood. But they had their own lives to worry about. As long as they were being paid, they didn't care.

Everything in its place, I left my chamber and strode down the hallway to the stairs. To most people, climbing eight flights several times a day would be more than an annoyance. It didn't phase me.

Kalin met me at the bottom of the stairs. He didn't have any visible weapons, but I was sure that he had a gun on him somewhere. He was hardly ever without one.

"She's waiting in the front room." He was leaning against the sidewall, looking almost bored. He continued, "Are you sure she's the right one to talk to?"

I nodded. When I heard that the most powerful member of the Sabres was a woman, I almost laughed. Since when did women lead gangs? But apparently, this woman was a force to be reckoned with. Both she and her brother had held prominent positions with the group until his death a few weeks ago. Now she alone held the most influence.

"How did she look?"

"What do you mean? She's a tough looking chick, but definitely not _hot_ if that's what you're asking."

His answer made me smirk. Sometimes I forgot that I was dealing with a teenager. Hell, he looked like he was at least thirty, with a chiseled body few in this world could ever achieve.

I followed Kalin toward the hotel entrance, where I saw Lux standing nervously close to the door. She stared me down as I crossed the room towards her. Although I couldn't see them, I was sure that she had members of her group positioned outside in case she ran into trouble. Smart, but hopefully not necessary. For once in my life, I wasn't looking for a fight.

" 'Evening, Lux," I said haughtily.

"Saki." She folded her arms across her chest. "I'm interested to know what this is about."

"Impatient, aren't you? Would you like a drink? Cigarette? Or perhaps something stronger….."

Her eyes narrowed. Kalin was right – she wasn't an attractive woman. She looked to be in about her late twenties, with black hair and medium toned skin. Biracial probably. Her hair was shoulder length, curly, and wild. She had a stocky build, and her facial features seemed overly round. There was an old scar that ran down the length of her neck on the right side.

"Only if you're going to tell me you're moving out, then maybe. To celebrate."

"Lux." I stepped closer to her, my hands out in front of me. She held her ground and didn't move. "Look, I'm not here to take over your area."

"Coulda fooled me." She glanced around the room, then down at the new floor. "Looks like you're all moved in."

Kalin cut in before I had a chance to answer. "We have an offer to make to you and your group."

"Fuck your offer! We rule this area, and you know it," she spat at him. Turning back to me, her voice a low growl, "Why are you back, Saki? I doubt that you bought this place to start renting out rooms. Hell, I thought that you were dead and buried a long time ago."

Her comment struck a nerve. "No one kills me." It was a statement, but also a warning.

"If you keep sticking your ass where it doesn't belong, I can make you eat those words."

She was more disagreeable than I thought she'd be. Her hands had moved to her waist, undoubtedly to unsheathe a weapon if necessary. Her previously nervous air was gone, replaced with cautious aggression.

I could tell that she'd pissed off Kalin too. He was grinding his teeth, and I could see his bicep twitching under his shirt. For all his good qualities, he was a bit of a loose cannon. All of that strength on a very short fuse. I attributed it to his youth, and hoped that he'd grow out of it.

I tried to keep my voice calm. "Lux, I'd like to propose a merger. I can give you things that you can't get on your own. Weapons, drugs…..training if you like. Even a place to work out of." I swiveled my eyes around the room. "Remodeled just for you."

A look of surprise crossed her face. This wasn't what she expected. She seemed unsure of how to respond, so I continued. "I know that these things are invaluable to you right now."

She pursed her lips, thinking about what I just said. She knew what I said was true. Right now, the Sabres were in a turf war, with this little hotel sitting right in the thick of it. They'd even started calling this street "the section," because it was the intersection of the Sabres territory with that of the 8th Street Posse. I was pretty sure that the feuding had caused the death of her brother a few weeks ago.

"What kinda drugs?"

"Meth, marijuana, cocaine, ecstasy….whatever you want, I'll get it for you."

"Guns?"

"Plenty."

"What do you get out of it?" she asked skeptically.

"Help in building a new organization. Revenge on those who took me down."

She shook her head at my answer. She didn't like it. "How so? And if you do, what keeps you from taking over this neighborhood?"

I was growing impatient, but I knew that I had to keep my calm. I had to get her to trust me, or this wouldn't work. "Lux, I don't want this neighborhood. Turf wars don't interest me….I bought this place to house new blood, to train. You keep command of the streets and whatever you do on them. What I'm asking for is your partnership. I give you what you need, you offer me your protection and help in mass recruitment. I can help the Sabres quadruple in size, and you'll remain in control."

"You mean we _both_ would be in control. You would want command of the members as well."

"….Yes….but the numbers would be so great, you couldn't do it on your own. You'd lose your hold. Combined, the three of us can keep order. And with all of the weapons that you want at your disposal, you're free to take over whatever area your little heart desires. Make this place your _playground_."

She kept quiet, still thinking. I pushed harder. "Listen Lux", I stepped forward again, moving in close to her. Her breathing quickened, but she didn't draw a weapon. I put my hand on her arm, tentatively, leaning down to whisper in her ear. She tensed, but I didn't flinch. "I have the money, weapons, drugs. You have the men. We need each other, and we both know it. Let's end your silly gang war and build something bigger."

I kept my face close to hers. I let her smell me, feel my aura. I wanted her to feel all of my strength and the fire that was igniting in my soul. She had to realize what I could do for her. And she also knew that, if she refused, she would be at war with me as well. She couldn't afford that.

Lux leaned away from me, and used her hand to tip my chin towards her. She stared forcefully into my eyes, as if she were looking for the truth. Hell, I had nothing to hide. For once in my life, I was actually telling her the truth. I didn't mind letting her keep her power. Like I said, I would need help anyway. And it might as well be from someone that the Sabres already respected. "I'll think about it," she whispered.

With that, she spun on her heels and pushed through the front doors. There was no chance for Kalin or me to respond.

_It didn't matter. She'd be back in the morning_.

I looked over and smiled at Kalin, and he grinned back at me. He knew it too.

"Let's go have a drink."


	2. Struggling

**CHAPTER 2: STRUGGLING**

"**I don't want the world to see me**

'**Cause I don't think that they'd understand**

**When everything's made to be broken**

**I just want you to know who I am"**

**-The Goo Goo Dolls, _Iris_**

**APRIL**

"Are you sure this time April?" Michelangelo gave me a look of exasperation. Tiny beads of sweat had begun to run down his forehead, soaking into his bandana.

I took another step back, surveying the room one more time.

"Yeah. I think it would look much better away from the wall. That way the sun won't shine in my eyes when I watch TV."

"_Really really sure_?"

"Yes Mike!"

"Ok, ok," Mike grumbled. He bent down on his knees, grasping the underside of the couch with both hands. "'Cause there's no way in hell I'm moving this again!" He looked across at Leonardo on the opposite side. "Ready Leo?"

"Hang on." Leo readjusted his grip on the couch, spreading his arms wider. "Ok…..one, two, three, go!"

The two turtles lifted the old Victorian style couch up to waist level and slowly made their way across to the other side of the living room. I watched anxiously as they moved the priceless antique. Mike was leading the way, walking backwards and clearly having a difficult time. They'd almost made it when a black ball of fur casually strolled across the wood floor to greet my visitors.

"Mike, watch out!"

Too late. Michelangelo took a step back directly on top of my wandering cat. With a yowl, I saw Spooky jump and dart back through the doorway to the kitchen. Mike, who had lost his footing, stumbled backwards.

"Shit!"

With a crash, the couch hit the floor. Mike was able to push himself out of the way of the couch, but couldn't help but fall directly on his back side. He looked stunned, like he wasn't quit sure what just happened.

"My couch!" I dashed over to inspect the damage, not only to my piece of furniture but my brand new floor.

"Couch? What about _me_?" Mike sat on the floor rubbing the outside of his thigh. "Stupid cat! Where'd he go, I'm going shove my 'chuck where the sun don't shine!"

Leonardo walked over and offered Mike his hand. Mike took it, allowing Leo to lift him off the floor. Leo chuckled. "I can't take you anywhere, can I Mike?"

Mike ignored his comment. He was too busy inspecting the damage. "Hey Leo, is that a dent in my shell?" He peered worriedly over his shoulder, spinning around and trying to see the backside of his shell. "Aw man, what will the ladies think?"

After a quick once over, I was relieved to find both my couch and my floor intact. A large chunk of my savings from last year had gone into laying down new wood in both the living room and the kitchen. It had been a rough month with all of the construction, and I was glad to finally get everything out of my bedroom and back where it belonged. Having the guys around to help me move everything had been a godsend, and I mentally added one more thing to the list that your _friendly neighborhood ninja turtle_ was good for.

I saw Spooky's head poke around the corner of the kitchen wall, a sheepish look on his face. His green eyes glowed with interest as he watch Michaelangelo's antics. The "Devil Cat" as Raphael called him, had called my place home for the last couple months. I don't know where he came from, but I'd found him huddled on the door step of my building before I left for work one morning. Poor thing, he was skin and bones, and I couldn't help but bring him inside. The guys had been less than thrilled with my new roommate. It was funny that the only one Spooky seemed to like was Raphael, who did nothing but torment him.

Spooky decided that hiding was a better alternative than waiting for Michaelangelo's wrath, and he ducked back into the kitchen. If cats could smile, I would have sworn I saw one as he slunk away.

"You ok Mike?"

"Oh, so now you ask….."

Leonardo jabbed him with his elbow. "Come on cry baby, let's get this finished up. Splinter wants us back in a half hour for practice."

"Jeez Leo, haven't we done enough _exercising _today?" He pointed to all of the furniture in the room.

I walked up behind Michaelangelo and put my hands on his shoulders. "Come on Mike, what about looking good for all the _ladies_?" I giggled, rubbing my hands up and down his arms. He ducked away from me playfully, running back to the couch. "Well, when you put it that way April…com'on Leo, let's go!"

"Goofball." I went into the kitchen while the boys finished up. "Hey guys, I got some groceries for you to take back too. Oh, and Raph's magazines came." I glanced down at the three covers_. Playboy, Maxim_, and _Sports Illustrated_. "I swear, the mailman must think I'm a real perv."

I heard a controlled "thud" as they lowered the couch into its proper place, and moments later Michealangelo came in and looked over my shoulder. "Holy cow, Leo! Check out the Maxim chick!" He grabbed the magazine out of my hand. His eyes widened as he lifted the picture closer to his face.

"Damn, look at those ti-"

"Mike!" Leo yelled from the other room. "Save it!"

"Sorry man, but those things are huge!"

I couldn't help but smile. Leonardo was definitely the polite one of the group. Always respectful, especially to me. I'll never forget the look on his face when I told him I was ordering magazines for Raph. _Dirty_ magazines at that. I've never seen him looked so mortified. It surprised me at first too, but then again, what did I expect? They were guys after all, with all the regular guy feelings. I couldn't fault them for wanting to look at naked girls.

"It's ok Leo, it doesn't bother me." I pulled the two bags of groceries out of the cupboard and set them on the table. A vast array of canned goods filled one, everything from peaches to spaghettio's. The second was mostly junk food, except for a single loaf of bread resting on top. I wrinkled my nose in disgust. The turtles definitely weren't fans of the food pyramid. "Hey, why don't you guys come back later tonight and I'll order you some dinner. I need to pay you back for all the moving you did."

Leo came in from the living room, picking up both bags. "Aw, it's fine April, the groceries make us even."

"No, no, you guys did a ton of stuff for me. Besides, I could use some company. Friday nights alone are never fun." I sighed. I hadn't had a date in weeks, and the lack of male company was really getting to me. "Tell Raph and Don I wanna see them too."

"Sure." Leo handed a bag over to Mike. "Here, help me carry this," he said, giving Mike a scowl as he shoved the magazines down the side of the bag. "Give us a couple hours and we'll be back up."

"Ooh, April, if you get Chinese, be sure to get some egg rolls!" Mike yelled as he and Leo slipped through the window.

"I always do Mike!"

**RAPHAEL**

I hated how the nunchucks felt in my hands. They were too loose and floppy, nothing like the firm grip of sai. I missed the comforting feeling that the cold steel gave me. Taking a deep breath, a let my weight fall onto my back foot, and waited for Splinter's voice. The sweat poured down my neck as I stood there, but I didn't feel tired. Fighting invigorated me.

"Begin!"

Donatello came at me faster than I expected. Usually I was the first to make a move, and his boldness caught me off guard. I blocked the strike of his padded katana clumsily, struggling to keep the chucks spinning in my hands. Donatello came in lower this time, swinging at me from the side and moving fluidly into a spin kick. It never connected, and I struck at his ankles as I ducked out of the way.

"Nice try bud, but you're too slow today!" Donatello joked at me. He leapt sideways, waiting for me to make the next move.

"Yeah? Try this jackass…" I flicked the chucks in my right hand out far enough to draw his attention, then tried the foot sweep again. Don was ready for it, and sent another kick at my head as he jumped over my outstretched leg. I let my body dip to the side, pulling the nunchuck in my left hand up just fast enough to block his next blow.

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Splinter's disapproving gaze. His foot drummed lightly against the mat as he watched us fight. He'd spent a good portion of the last hour showing me the more advanced nunchuck skills used in battle, and was getting impatient for me to show what I'd learned.

"Jeez Raph, you're slipping," Don mocked. I knew he was just trying to get under my skin, but I couldn't help but let my eyes narrow. It was working. Now I was pissed.

"Raphael, keep your arms in front of you! Farther from your body!" I heard Splinter yell out me over the sound of the fighting.

_Yeah, whatever_…

Again I tried to feint with the chucks, faster this time. I stopped spinning the one on my right and used it to lash at Donatello's elbow. He easily pulled himself out of the way.

I felt the growl in the back of my throat as he came back on the offensive. Don was winning, and I didn't like it. I could see the smile on his face as he sliced the katanas at my shoulder. I was never one to like technical fighting – I much preferred to use sheer muscle power to overwhelm my opponent. That, however, was not a style favored by Master Splinter.

Donatello swung one katana toward my head, another toward my right side. I ducked under the first and spun my weapon around the second, trying to disarm him. Don anticipated my move, twisting his wrist and pulling his arm down to wrest the katana from my weapon's grip.

_Enough_.

I pulled both nunchuck handles into each of my hands. Enough twirly-whirly. I'd never understand how Mike could fight with the stupid things, as much as Splinter made me try. He thought it was important that we were trained with each other's weapons. I hated these practices. It drove me crazy to fight with something I wasn't good with.

I charged at Don full board. He squatted down to block my attack, and I used his position to my advantage. Doing a quick spin, I came around behind him and pushed my side into his shell. Off balance, he teetered to the side, just as I sent a punch at his head. I swung hard, much harder than I should have in practice. I felt my hand connect.

Don went down, bracing himself with his forearms as he hit the mat. There was blood trickling from the corner of his mouth.

"Jesus, Raph." I could hear the exasperation in his voice. He brought his hand up and touched the blood on his face.

"Raphael! Control yourself!" Splinter's voice was low and angry. "You are missing the entire point of this lesson."

"_Fuck_ this lesson." I glared him, a silent challenge that only I would dare give him. I was mad, and there was no way in _hell_ that he was going to push me around right now. I could feel my muscles tighten in anger.

Donatello winced. Splinter had a low tolerance for swearing, especially when it was used maliciously. Don stayed down on the mat, afraid to move.

"Don't you_ ever_ say that word to me again," Splinter said slowly, enunciating each syllable. The fire in his eyes matched my own. His tail was swishing back and forth, and I don't think I'd ever seen him look so angry before. And I didn't care.

"And _Fuck_ these stupid things!" I threw the chucks down at the mat in his direction. The chains rattled noisily as they came to rest near his feet.

Splinter didn't speak. He just stared at me, blankly, disbelieving of what I just did. I didn't wait around for the fireworks, either. I turned at stormed out the door.

**DONATELLO**

I couldn't believe what just happened. The confrontation happened so fast that I hardly had enough time to take it in.

Raphael scared me when he got like this. And it seemed to be happening more and more often. His mood swung all over the place, and his anger was turning vicious.

_He was losing control_.

The last few years had been hard for all of us. But mostly for Raphael. We had beaten Oroku Saki, and the fall of the Foot clan had left Master Splinter avenged. We were grown up, and our days of needing a full time parent were long behind us. Hell, our problem was that we didn't know what to do with ourselves.

Lack of purpose. I think that this crushed Raphael more than any of us. He had a restless spirit, and staying down in the sewers made him feel like a lion in a cage. He longed to have things that he knew he never could, and the reality of it drove him crazy. He needed release, and he didn't know how to get it. And we were powerless to help him. Raph was emotionally closed off, and wouldn't let any of us near him in that way.

Lately, Raphael had been spending a lot more time with Casey. I got the idea that Master Splinter wasn't exactly fond of it, and neither was Leonardo. It's not that Casey's a bad guy. Far from it. But their two personalities were so closely matched that they seemed to feed off each other. Both of them had a need for excitement, and one of these nights it would get them in trouble.

And then there was the drinking. Casey had introduced Raphael to the feeling of intoxication when he turned 18. Needless to say, a full day spent throwing up in the bathroom didn't deter him in the least. Beer became the new staple of Raphael's diet, and hardly a night went by that he didn't have two or three. Of course we all drink, even Leo every once in a while, but Raph's behavior bothers all of us. There have been a few times that I've seen him so drunk he can barely walk.

There's one incident in particular I'll never forget. It actually started as a pretty innocent night. It was a Saturday, I remember that for sure. We were all bored, and Mike had the great idea of having a round robin video game tournament. We were all drinking, so by the time we got down to the final game between Raph and Mike the buzz was really effecting us. I think that _rowdy_ would be a good way to put it. Although I don't remember exactly what was said, I remember Mike taking jabs at Raph as they played. They both got out of line, and the night ended with Raphael sucker-punching Mike in the jaw. Broke it straight in two. It was the first time that I'd _ever _seen Raph lash out at Mike. Of any of us, the two of them had the closest relationship. When no one else was on Raphael's side, Michaelangelo was always loyal. Looking back, I think that that night broke a lot more than Mike's jaw. And what bothers me the most is that Raphael never apologized.

I watched helplessly as Raphael stormed out of the room.

Fearfully, I let my gaze move back to Master Splinter. The anger in his eyes was gone. It had been replaced with…sadness. He didn't say anything to me, just bowed his head and moved silently toward his room.

Shutting my eyes, I breathed deeply and pulled myself off the mat. I could still feel the blood running down my chin.

_I'd better go get cleaned up_.

The air felt heavy as I made my way out of the dojo. I felt my body shiver, despite how hot I was. Something didn't feel right, though I couldn't for the life of me guess what it was. Michaelangelo's voice echoing down the sewer tunnel broke my thoughts.

"Dude, Beyonce is way hotter than Kelly! Get your head out of your shell and open your eyes!Hey Raph, where you goin'- ?"

"Raph!" Leo's voice yelled.

"Fine, don't say hi then!"

A few seconds later Mike and Leo stepped through the lair's main entrance, each carrying a brown sack. Mike had a skip in his step, obviously in good mood about something. But then again, there was hardly a time when Mike wasn't cheerful.

"Hey Donnie, what's up with Raph? Did you kick his butt in practice or something?" He gave me a quirky smile, but it faded as soon as he saw my face.

Leonardo set his bag on the floor, walking over to me. Concerned, I could feel him looking over the rest of me to see if there was anything else wrong. Satisfied that my face was the only thing, he trotted off toward the bathroom. "I'll get a towel, Don."

"Thanks."

"Raph do that?"

"Yeah."

I could hear Leo muttering under his breath in the bathroom. "Why does he always have to pull crap like this?"

"I'm fine Leo." I paused, considering my words carefully. The last thing I wanted to do was make things worse. But I decided that Mike and Leo needed to know.

"I don't think Master is, though."

"Splinter?" Leo frowned, coming out of the bathroom and handing me a half wet towel. I wiped the wet edge across my face, trying to scrape off the dried blood. There was a lot more than I originally thought. I could see the redness creep its way through the towel.

I proceeded to relay to both of them what happened in the dojo. I saw Leonardo's eyes widen as the story unfolded. Mike had sat down on the couch and was fidgeting uncomfortably. He hated this stuff.

"Great." Leonardo had his hand on his forehead, massaging his temples. "Is he ever going to stop acting like a child?" It was a rhetorical question, but I was afraid that I knew the answer. Leo continued, "Should I go talk to Splinter?"

I knew that Leo was tired of cleaning Raph's messes. If Raph was the cut, Leo was the band aid. It was starting to wear him down, and his resentment kept building. One of these days…

"I don't think so. I think he just needs to be left alone for a while. It's probably better if they both cool off."

"Christ." Leo swore. "I can handle it when fights with us. But Master Splinter is a whole different story. It's…" He searched for the right word. "Disrespectful." He glanced back to Mike sitting in the couch. "Maybe we should just head up to April's now."

"Sure," Mike nodded, lifting himself up from the cushion. "I'll put the groceries away quick."

"Thanks Mike."

**RAPHAEL**

_Damn_.

"Dammit!" I listened to my voice bounce of the walls of the tunnel. As the sound faded away, there was nothing left but the soft rush water. Emptiness.

Pulling a sai out of my belt, I twirled it aimlessly in my hand as I walked through the sewer. It took the edge off my anger.

Splinter and I had lost touch with each other a long time ago. There was no particular incident, at least not in my mind. Just the steady of drain of him pushing, then me pulling away. He wanted me to be someone I'm not, and never could be for that matter. I wasn't like Leo, I couldn't be happy by just excelling at_ ninjitsu_. _Stop that Raphael, don't do that Raphael, sit and be quiet Raphael_…well, it was never going to happen. I think he was finally starting to realize that, and he couldn't handle it.

_I was never going to live up to his expectations, and at this point, I didn't give a shit_.

Splinter also saw that he no longer had control of us. I knew it scared him. We were grown up, and he was afraid that something would happen to us outside his protective bubble in the sewer. The outside world terrified him.

I couldn't fault him for wanting to keep us safe. If he knew half of the stuff I'd done, he'd probably turn gray overnight. But he needed to realize if he didn't let up, something inside of me, in all of us, was going to break. And it wouldn't be fixable.

I saw the bike at the end of the tunnel, the stars casting a ghostly light through the grate that covered its entrance. It looked like a nice night. I could feel just the slightest bit of wind as I approached, grabbing the gear lying across the Harley's seat. Under all the leather, you could hardly tell that I wasn't human. Even the helmet covered my whole face, and I felt completely comfortable being on the street. Still, I made a promise to everyone never to be out in the daylight. So far I'd kept it.

That bike was my pride and joy. It was a gift, from none other than Donatello. Somehow, he just seemed to know how much a needed something like that. I give him a silent thank you every time I hear the gun of the motor when I start it.

I could hardly believe my eyes when he brought it home that night. Mike told me that he'd spent a week figuring out how to hotwire, and the two of them had staked out the red Harley for the previous three nights. It was owned by some rich guy, selling drugs out of a posh uptown apartment. Casey had pointed it out to them. To make a long story short, the two of them stole it right out of the underground garage.

Splinter had a fit. Stealing was wrong, no matter who it was from. Poor Don and Mike were put on house arrest for a month. But he didn't make them take it back. When Splinter heard they had gotten it for me, I think it softened his heart to hear how hard they'd worked for their brother. He wouldn't let it near the lair, though. So I kept it at the end of one of the tunnels, one that exited into a public park about a half hour walk away. The opening was at the bottom of a steep hill, under a bridge. There were a lot of trees, and I doubted that anyone had ever ventured down to look in the tunnel. Sure, it was a pain in the ass to get the bike up and out of there, but that was the price we paid for security. We'd also rigged the metal grid to be bolted locked with a metal chain, just to be extra safe.

I started the engine, letting it warm up while I unlocked the padlock. As I swung the grate open, I was careful to look for anyone that might be around to see me. There was no one.

Pushing the bike through, I shut and locked the padlock, then jumped onto the bike.

As I rode away, I never heard the way that the lock clanked eerily against the metal, in the absence of any detectable breeze.

**MICHAELANGELO**

"April?" I stuck my head cautiously through April's living room window. A lamp on one of the end tables dimly lit the room, but the kitchen and hallway were both dark. As I listened closer, I could faintly hear the sound of a radio coming from one of the back bedrooms.

"Mike, hurry up, I think there's someone down in the alley," Leo urged, his hands firmly pressed against my shell.

"Sheesh, goin'," I mumbled, making a none to graceful entrance. A loud _crack! _behind me made me whirl. Leonardo's katanas handles had knocked against the top of the window glass as he climbed through. Twenty-two years of living and we still underestimated the size of our shells.

"Smooth, Leo, and you're the one giving me crap," I whispered. The loud noise made Leo wince, and he shot me a sheepish look. "You're the one that needs to go back to stealth class!"

April's voice floated through the hallway, cutting Leo off before he had a chance to respond. "Hello? Guys, is that you?" She sounded a bit nervous. Understandable, since we weren't due back for at least another couple hours.

"Yeah April, it's us," Don replied, turning to close the window. I saw him glance it over quickly, making sure that there was no noticeable damage. Satisfied, he brushed himself off and plopped down on one of the living room chairs. "Likin' the set up in here," he commented on the new furniture arrangement.

"Me too." Another light flipped on and April emerged, rustling a towel through her half wet hair. A pale blue terrycloth robe was wrapped around her, and her feet were bare. It looked as if she'd just painted her toenails. "What are you guys doing back already?" She asked. "Did you decide I gave you enough of a work out already?"

"Not exactly," came Leo's tired reply. I could tell he didn't want to get into it, but April wouldn't be satisfied with that answer. He hated pulling her into the middle of things, especially when it came to Raphael. As much as Leo would berate Raph in front of his brothers, he had enough decency not to do it in front of April. Raphael had always held a special place in April's heart, and we all knew it.

"Raph and Splinter had a, um, little tiff before we got back," I finished for him. "Splinter decided to call it quits for the day."

"Tiff?" April lowered the towel to her waist, turning toward the sound of my voice. Her face looked worried, like I'd expected. "What kind of tiff? Are they both ok? Did he run off again?"

"Nothing new, I think so, and yes." I counted off the replies on my fingers. Good thing she only asked three questions. I watched her raise her eyebrows, like she didn't believe me. "Seriously April, it's fine," I assured her. She sighed, walking back toward the bathroom. I could hear her clanking things together as she searched through a drawer.

"Well, dinner's not going to be here for another hour and a half. You guys ok till then? Casey's coming too, I told him to pick up a movie."

"Great April," Leo answered, sitting down on the couch and grabbing the remote. "Hey Mike, grab me a Coke, will ya?"

"Dude, you got legs."

"Yeah, but you're so much closer." He said sarcastically, flipping through the channels. He slumped down a little lower, emphasizing how comfortable he was.

"Geez. Don, you want one too?" I sauntered into the kitchen and flipped on the light. Donatello nodded, not taking his eyes of the TV. _Hockey_. Was it even the right time of year for hockey?

As I walked toward the fridge, I felt something brush past my leg. Suddenly I had a weird case of déjà vu.

"Yeah, you better run!" I yelled after Spooky as he darted through the doorway. "My chuck still has a date with your rear end!"

Too lazy to give chase, I used the towel hanging from the fridge handle to pull the door open. The shelves were packed full, the whole haphazard arrangement threatening to tumble down at any moment. Still, I was able to pull out two Cokes and a Miller Lite for myself. Heck, it was Friday, I was allowed. I began to shut the door when I remembered April, and I cradled the other three cans in my arm while I grabbed another beer.

Entering the living room, I saw that Don and Leo were already totally engrossed in the game on TV. "Heads up boys!" I said, lobbing the first Coke over Leo's head. Don snapped out of his trance, softly cushioning the drink as it fell into his hands.

"Leo?"

Not breaking his gaze from the TV, Leo lifted both hands over his right shoulder. Taking the bait, I jogged exaggeratedly behind him and tossed the can overhand into his waiting palms.

"Another perfect pass executed by quarterback Mike the Magnificent! And what a beautiful blind catch by-"

"Mike, if you're throwing things in my new living room…" April's menacing voice came from the bathroom. Leo never turned around, but I could tell he was smiling.

I half walked, half danced down the hall and poked my head into the bathroom. April was standing in front of the mirror, a section of her hair twisted around the barrel of a curling iron. Although inexperienced in the ways of women, I could tell that she'd put on a lot of makeup. Her eyes looked smoky and there was an unmistaken blackness to her eyelashes that could only come from mascara.

I cracked open the beer, setting it on the counter in front of her. There was hardly room for it in amongst the various "products" littering the surface.

"Brought you somethin' " I said, nodding at the beer.

"Hmm? Oh, thanks Mike," she replied, unwinding the curling iron. She picked it up, taking a long pull. "You read my mind." I opened my own can, but waited to take a drink.

"So, why are you getting so _foo foo_ for take out and a movie?" I was never one to beat around the bush. But just as I finished asking the question, the answer already hit me.

_Casey_.

Of course. It obviously wasn't for us, and he was the only other option.

Casey and April's relationship baffled all of us. Even Splinter, in all of his wisdom, was clueless. It took weeks of flirting (disguised as childish bickering) before they would admit that they liked each other. When they did get together, however, it had been a rocky road. Sometimes they could hardly keep their hands off each other, and others they couldn't stand to be in the same room. I knew Casey loved her. Madly. But there were parts of him that could never change for her, things she needed that he couldn't give. In the end, April ended up breaking it off for the good of both of them. Sometimes in life sheer attraction isn't enough, she'd told us.

During the weeks following the break up, I felt truly sorry for Casey. He was hurt, and he let it show. He didn't even want to be around her, which made it difficult for us to split our time between the two of them.

That had been five years ago. Gradually, time healed both of them, and they started over as friends. They both knew that the secret of our existence would always tie them together. The best thing to do would be to let go of what happened, for our sake. And their own sanity, of course. Steadily, the two of them became close again, but in the playful way that they were before they started dating. No seriousness, no strings.

And that's how it'd been for last few years. Which is why April's current "primping" baffled me. She always looked nice of course, but it seemed as if her efforts tonight were pretty extensive.

"_Foo foo_? Uh, not really, my hair was just really out of control and I wanted to…" She hesitated, knowing I wouldn't buy her explanation. "Uh, fix it." She shook her hair out, then smoothed the top of it down with her fingers. "There, see, it's good now," She said, turning to give me a big fake smile. She grabbed her beer again, tipping the can to her lips. "I'm just going to get dressed and I'll be right back out," she continued, sliding past me and heading back toward her bedroom.

"Need any help?" I snickered, watching her disappear into the doorway of her room. The door swung shut, but not before I heard her answer.

"I think I can handle it, Mikey."


	3. When it all Comes Down

**CHAPTER 3: WHEN IT ALL COMES DOWN**

**I don't want to be the one  
The battles always choose  
'Cause inside I realize  
That I'm the one confused**

I don't know what's worth fighting for  
Or why I have to scream  
I don't know why I instigate  
And say what I don't mean  
I don't know how I got this way  
I'll never be alright  
So, I'm breaking the habit  
I'm breaking the habit   
Tonight

**-Breaking the Habit, Linkin Park**

**RAPHAEL**

"Casey?"

I stepped through the apartment door, pulling my key out of the lock. The place looked empty. The kitchen light was on, but it wasn't unlike Casey to leave in a rush. Dishes filled the sink and covered most of the adjoining counter. I removed my helmet, thinking maybe he hadn't heard me through the thick plastic visor.

"CJ, you here?"

Again, no answer. I came in anyway, taking of the leather gloves and unzipping my jacket. First things first, I went into the kitchen and rooted through the cabinets until I found what I wanted – a full bottle of Jack Daniels. I took a swig straight out of the bottle before finding a glass, filling it halfway with whiskey and the rest with generic cola. I grinned.

_Leave it to Casey to spend his money on the important part of the drink. _

Who knew where he was? Probably at some townie bar, playing pool and trying to pick up a girl. Typical. Tonight, I would have given anything to be there with him.

Crossing back to the living room, I glanced briefly at the TV, but decided that I'd rather just listen to music. The CD remote was lying on the couch cushion. Flipping it on to whatever was in there, I spread out on the couch and rested my head back.

I laid like that, eyes closed, for the time it took me to finish the first drink. It wasn't too long. Casey's music was some sort of rap/rock hybrid that I didn't recognize. But as loud as it was, it was oddly soothing. Of course, the alcohol helped too. It drove my feelings back into my core.

Instead of mixing another drink, I just grabbed the bottle instead. When the goal was getting drunk, there was no point in messing around. I didn't want to think, didn't want to worry. For once, I wasn't even angry - I was just sick and tired of it all.

And get drunk I did, letting myself drown in feeling, slipping further and further into oblivion.

_Crack!_

My eyes flew open instantly, despite my self induced stupor. Glancing around the room, I realized that I must have fallen asleep. The clock on the mantle read something around 10 o'clock. Not understanding what the noise was, my hands reached immediately for my weapons, but all I felt was the leather of the clothes that I still wore. My sai were underneath.

_Crack!_

Thunder. I groaned, my head spinning. Nothing to worry about, it was just storming outside. I flipped myself over to go back to sleep. I was sure Casey wouldn't mind if I spent the night.

_Shit._ Somehow my thoughts drifted back to earlier in the evening, when I was wondering where he might be. What if he brought a girl home? Casey definitely wouldn't be getting a second date after she saw a mutant turtle passed out his couch.

_Phone. I could call him. Yeah, I needed to call him, tell him I was here._

It took a lot of effort to lift myself up. Still groggy, I scanned the kitchen for the phone. Confused when I didn't find it, I got up off the couch and flipped another light on so I could see better.

That's when I remembered that he'd gotten rid of it. Traded in his landline for a cell phone, saying it was so much cheaper. I cursed my luck. I'd forgotten my own cell back at the lair in my hurry to leave.

That left me with two options. Stay here and risk being seen, or suck it up and try to ride home. I didn't like either one.

While I was in the kitchen, I grabbed a glass of water, hoping it would somehow clear my head. It didn't. I realized I wasn't even sure how much I drank. The whiskey bottle lay tipped over on the floor, what little contents were left had soaked into the living room carpet. Although my body kept telling me to just go back to sleep, I decided that I needed to get back to the lair. I'd driven drunk before, and I kept telling myself that I was fine. I just needed to focus a little.

I found my gloves on the floor near the door, and my helmet still sat on an end table near the couch. After gazing quickly through the peep hole, I opened the door slowly and slipped into the hallway. Fumbling with my keys, I tried to find the right one to lock the door.

_God, if only my head would quit pounding!_

When I got outside, I realized that it was just beginning to sprinkle. Hopefully I'd be able to get home without getting too wet. The cool breeze felt good, it helped quell the nausea that had begun to creep up on me.

Straddling the bike, I struggled to pull it upright and flip up the stand. The Harley was big, and strong as I was, my coordination was lacking. Luckily I got it started without a problem. There didn't seem to be too many people out tonight, which was good. The night was still young, and most of the party crowd wouldn't appear until at least midnight. Easing the accelerator forward, I pulled out into a gap in the oncoming traffic.

It took every ounce of concentration I had to stay upright on the bike. My mind wanted to wander to anything except driving. Hell, Splinter was going to kill me when I got home. As strange as it sounded, I hoped that he was still angry enough not to want to talk to me. Then at least I'd be sober enough to yell back.

The rain was still light, not yet enough to bother my vision through the visor. Listening to my own motor calm as I stopped at a red light, a heard the gun of another motorcycle behind me. Turning to the sound, I realized that it wasn't one, but four. Harleys, like mine, but older models that looked like they'd seen their share of seasons. All of them had single riders except the one, which held two people.

None of them wore helmets. The guy closest to me, directly to my left, had a thick black goatee and wavy hair. My eyes were immediately drawn to the thick gold hoops that were pierced all along both ears. His entire image screamed, "Don't fuck with me, or I'll rip your head off." The rest of the guys weren't much different, just variation on a theme of the first. What bothered me most was the way that "Mr. Hoops" was smiling at me. His lips curled evilly as his stare traveled back and forth between me and my bike.

Before I realized what was happening, one of the men nosed up close to me on the right.

_Too close_.

The rev of a motor let me know the one directly behind me had done the same. If they wanted to play a game with me, this was not the night to do it. The guy beside me kept smiling, unzipping his jacket and reaching toward his belt. I felt a wave of nausea hit me again, except this time it was mixed with something else.

_Panic_.

_Mr. Hoops had a gun._

**LEONARDO**

"Check out those cars, Donnie!" Mike exclaimed from his place on the floor. As the movie progressed, he'd crept closer and closer to the screen as he got more excited. He loved watching movies. "Dude, what are they?"

"Mini Coopers. And before you ask if we can get one, your big fat shell wouldn't fit in there anyway."

"Would so."

"Shhhhh!" April brought her finger to her lips and hugged her pillow closer. She and Casey were up on the couch, her legs draped across his lap. Don and I had claimed both chairs, leaving Mike to sit on the floor. The Chinese food April ordered had come late, so we went ahead and started the movie while we ate. Of course we had to promise April not to spill, which was a tall order, especially for Mike.

Casey had arrived shortly after we did. We all questioned him being in charge of the movie, but he'd actually done a decent job for once. He'd picked up _The Italian Job_, which had enough action for us and just enough story for April. Don, being in control of the remote, had the volume way up to cover the noise of the thunder outside. It was definitely a good night to be in watching a movie.

"Holy shit, I didn't know girls could drive like that!"

"MIKE!" April threw her pillow at him. "No more movies if you can't learn to shut your mouth!"

Casey stifled a laugh. "I don't think that's possible Ape." He tickled her feet playfully, and she smacked his hand away.

Watching the three red, white, and blue cars weave back and forth on the screen, I felt a sudden tingling in my finger tips. Confused, I stretched my hands out and flexed my fingers back and forth. It didn't go away, but instead spread up my arms, making me take a sharp breath as it reached my chest.

"Hey Leo, you ok?" Don asked, giving me a quizzical look. The other three were glued to the TV screen.

"Fine," I replied, taking another deep breath. Actually, I was far from it. A feeling that could only be described as dread was spreading throughout my entire body. To make matters worse, I suddenly felt like I was sitting in a sauna – beads of sweat began to form across my forehead. "I think I just need a drink of water."

Don watched me as I went to the kitchen, filling a glass with the coldest water I could get out of the tap. I drank the whole thing, splashing my face as well when I was finished. The water ran down my cheeks and dripped off my chin into the sink.

It didn't help, and I struggled to keep a hold of myself.

**RAPHAEL**

I had enough presence of mind to know that I was in trouble. _Deep trouble_. I wasn't sure exactly what these guys wanted, but I assumed it was my bike. And it seemed as if they were willing to go to extreme measures to get it.

There was also no way that I could fight my way out of this one. I was so drunk I could barely walk, let alone give five huge bikers a run for their money. So when I saw the glint of metal emerging from the guy's belt, I did the only thing I could.

Twisting the accelerator forward as hard as I could, I tried to barrel my way ahead of the Harley to my left. There was just enough space for me to squeeze the bike between his front tire and the car in front of me. I felt my thigh push against the back bumper, and I reached out to push myself away from the window.

The biker yelled, reaching for his own accelerator to try and block my exit, but he was too slow. I skidded past him, turned, and barreled through the red light. I kept waiting for the sound of a gun, but all I heard was the roar of my own engine.

As I raced down the street, I hazarded a glance behind me.

_Shit, they weren't giving up._

I felt the adrenaline shoot through my body. The street was clear, and I let my speed top out at almost 50 mph. It was dangerously fast for a residential street and I knew it.

There were very few times in my life when I'd actually been scared. Usually my ego had a way of keeping fear in check, and I had full confidence in my abilities to fight my way through a mess. Leonardo was convinced that my confidence would eventually bring me down one day, and he never missed a chance to tell me so. But my cockiness _did_ have its limits. This was one of those times. I was really, truly scared that if these guys caught me, they would probably shoot me. As much as my life sucked right now, I wasn't ready for it to end quite yet.

As the panic gripped me tighter, only one thought ran through my mind: get back to the park. There was no way these guys would follow me into the sewer. And even if they tried, I could lock the grate behind me.

_Get to the park, get to the park, get to the park..._

The buildings whizzed by in a blur as I did my best to maneuver. The other four Harley's never faltered, keeping on my tail about two or three blocks behind.

The rain picked up as I snaked my way through town. It seemed like it had been raining in this area for a while now, as evident by the puddles of standing water on the street. Not only did the rain make the road slick, but it made it harder for me to see.

After what seemed like ages, I saw the familiar sign for Echo Park. Though I normally entered through a back route in the trees on the other side, I went ahead and took the bike through the front entrance. Motorized vehicles definitely weren't allowed, and the sidewalk was barely wide enough to accommodate me. Because of the rain and the late hour, the place was completely deserted.

It took just a few moments to reach the hill. I had to veer off of the sidewalk into the grass, and I felt the tires sinking into the soggy ground. It was then, when I was so close to safety, that I made a crucial error.

Normally I would walk the bike down the hill. It wasn't horribly steep, but I never wanted to risk an unnecessary damage to my Harley. In my present situation, all I felt was the urgency to get back to the sewers. So, with my clouded judgment, I hit the incline going way to fast. The high speed coupled with the muddy ground made for disaster.

My back tire slipped almost instantaneously. The whole bike tipped sideways, pinning my left leg under its enormous weight. My entire body collided with the ground, the force on my head being great enough to knock my helmet completely off. The bike and I both careened down the hill, a tangled mess of flesh and metal.

Still conscious, I felt the side of my face slide on the wet grass. The burning in my left leg was agonizing, and I gritted my teeth hard to try and numb the pain. Half way down, the rear end slammed into a tree trunk, bringing the Harley to a jarring halt. My leg was ripped from the bike's grip, forward momentum continuing to pull me downward.

My body came to rest in the small trickle of water running into the sewer, made slightly deeper from the falling rain. When I tried to open my eyes the entire world seemed to tilt, and I quickly shut them again. For a moment I didn't even know where I was. I just knew I was cold, really cold, and pain was threatening to overtake me. I was ready to let it take me under when a voice pulled me back from the edge.

"Raphael! Raphael, look at me!" The voice was urgent, surprisingly loud over the storm. Confused, I let me head roll to the side, my lids fluttering open.

It was Master Splinter.

_What was he doing here? _

His yellow eyes glowed from the darkness of the sewer. Hands wrapped around the metal bars of the grate, he looked as if he was trying to push it open. His stare quickly shot from me to something over and behind me.

"Raphael! You have to get up! There are men coming down the hill!"

_Get up? Men? Oh shit…_

Reality hit me like a ton of bricks. If I wanted to live to see tomorrow, I had to get into the sewer.

It was exhausting just to lift myself to my knees, but I managed to crawl the twenty or so feet that spanned to the entrance. My left leg was completely useless. It dragged behind me, leaving a trail of blood in the rainwater. When I reached him, Splinter's bony paw tipped my face toward him. He was trembling.

"My son, I need your keys."

_Keys_. I had no idea where they were.

"Raphael, please try to focus! I need your keys to open the lock!"

Precious seconds past as I tried to think. Where? …_oh no_. My stomach twisted. They were still in the motorcycle ignition. I was about to turn to go get them when another voice broke the night.

"What the fuck…?!"

Looking over my shoulder, I saw one of the bikers standing a short distance behind me. A look of terror was wiped across his face, his gun hand shaking as he pointed it toward my head. He was completely unable to wrap his mind around what he was seeing.

My blood ran ice cold. With no helmet on, my green skin was wholly exposed to the horrified gunman. He was just far enough away that there was nothing I could do but hold perfectly still.

Unable to protect myself, Splinter did it for me. With animalistic ferocity, he launched a throwing star through the space between the bars. In a flash it had embedded itself within the gunman's arm. He shrieked in pain.

_And the gun went off._

**LEONARDO**

Donatello knew I wasn't fine. As I felt my legs get weak, he was at my side, pulling my arm around his shoulder. I let him support me, leaning into the comfort of his body's steadiness.

"Mike!"

The alarm in Don's voice made all three turn. April paled.

"Oh god, what's wrong with him?" she asked, too surprised to move.

Casey vaulted himself over the back of the couch, rushing to help Don hold me up. My head was swimming and I felt like I wanted to throw up. With unsteady steps, I let them guide me to a chair. Mike reached my side, placing his hand across my forehead.

"Leo?" Mike's voice sounded worried. I didn't answer, breathing deep in an effort to try and comfort myself. I wished I could reassure him, but suddenly I started to understand exactly what it is I was feeling. I was afraid of my own words as they cut through the silence.

"Guys, I'm not sure, but I think there's something wrong with Raphael."


	4. Letting Go

**Author's note: **

Thanks to Buslady and GemDrive for reviewing…I appreciate the feedback for my blood, sweat and tears!

This one's a little shorter, but I felt like there was enough emotion to hold it up.

**CHAPTER 4: LETTING GO**

"**Was it the little things I left unsaid? **

**The thoughts that wrapped around my head in love, in life**

**Could it be our time was incomplete?**

**Or someone just failed to need enough inside**

**And I've lost my direction**

**Where do I turn?"**

**-Ryan Cabrera, _Exit to Exit_**

**RAPHAEL**

The sound of the gun was deafening. Throwing star lodged in his arm, the gunman lurched backwards, the muzzle of the gun tilting upward as he squeezed the trigger. Time seemed to stand still as I waited for the force of the bullet.

It never came. I saw the rest of the bikers on the hill stop cold, almost dropping my Harley as they tried to drag it up the incline. They looked shocked and unsure.

The gunman regained his balance before he could tip into the water. Terrified, he let the gun fall from his hand as he dashed toward the others. I heard him scream something at them, but I couldn't hear the words as he shouted with the wind. As he reached the Harley, he grabbed one man by the arm, pushing him away from the bike and up the hill. It wasn't long before the other three followed behind them. In moments they were gone, swallowed up by the darkness of the night.

As the adrenaline rush left me, I started to feel extremely weak. I wasn't sure how I was going climb up to get my keys out of the ignition. Oddly, the pain in my leg was starting to fade, but something made me think that wasn't a good thing. Hazarding a glance downward, I surveyed the damage.

The material from my pants was almost completely ripped away. The edges lay fluid with the wound, disappearing into the mangled heap of bloody tissue. Gravel from the stream bed was ground into the surface, and it was hard to tell what part of my leg I was even looking at. Behind me, a crimson trail streaked from the sewer entrance to where I originally fell. I sighed deeply, trying to compose myself. Maybe Splinter could go get help…

"Master?" It was barely a whisper. Turning back toward the sewer, I realized that I no longer saw Splinter's outline in the shadows. That's when a soft rasping noise caught my attention.

Splinter laid in a heap on the cement pipe, neck outstretched, gasping for air. As he coughed, bloody foam sprayed from his nostrils. Although I couldn't see the wound, I realized with horror that the bullet must have struck him in the chest. Suddenly, his back legs began to paddle violently, as if kicking at some unseen enemy.

_Master Splinter was dying_.

I was transfixed. The sight of his body shaking was so disturbing, I felt myself starting to vomit. The taste of alcohol and bile overwhelmed me, and I collapsed forward onto my chest. Even as I was vomiting, I started to sob. Not a cry of pain, but a deep, feral cry that only comes from extreme anguish.

_What had I done?!_

As I continued to cry, I thought that maybe he still had a chance. Maybe if I could put pressure on his wound, CPR, or something…anything…

Gripped with urgency, I dragged myself toward him. I felt the warmth of the vomit as it soaked in through my jacket. When I reached the bars, I realized that I couldn't even get close enough to do anything. Sick at heart, I stretched my arm through as far as could. My fingers lightly brushed against his palm. Splinter's body relaxed, as if comforted simply by my touch. His hand curled feebly around my fingers. I tried to speak, but my voice wouldn't come. All I could do was listen to the song of the falling rain, the clap of thunder echoing through the city.

Splinter's anguish lasted only a few seconds. With a final pant, the luster left his eyes, and the only father I'd ever known fell into death's arms.

_I was lost._

Everything happened so fast, his soul slipped through my fingers. Helplessness overwhelmed me, and the ache in my heart made me numb. It was strange, as he'd laid their dying, holding my hand, I'd felt closer to him than I ever had in life. Arguments and impatience were gone, misunderstanding forgotten. All that was left was the simple and unconditional love of a father and son.

I knew that if I dug deep within myself, I would have the strength to make it home. To save the life of another, I would struggle ferociously until I had nothing left. But for myself, there was nothing.

"_I'm sorry." _

Burying my head into my elbow, I squeezed Splinter's hand one more time, and shut my eyes.

**DONATELLO**

_Raphael? _I was confused. Leo was practically convulsing, and he was worried that something was wrong with _Raph_?

"What do you mean, Leo?" April questioned, wrinkling her brow and looking as mystified as I was. She knelt in front of him, hands gently stroking his knees.

"I really don't know. I just…I…I feel him inside my head."

I could tell that even _he_ was baffled by what he just said. It didn't make sense. But then again, a lot of things about us didn't make sense. And I trusted Leo's feelings.

_Implicitly_.

"Leo…I don't think…"

"April please," Leonardo pleaded, "I just know."

April seemed slightly taken aback at his forcefulness, but she relented. Still looking worried, she lifted her hand and brushed the sweat back from his eyes. "How 'bout I call him?"

Michaelangelo, silent until now, answered from the background.

"No good."

Leo turned to face him, fear apparent in his eyes. "Why Mike?"

" 'Cause he doesn't have his phone," Mike whispered, realizing the possible seriousness of the situation. "I saw it sitting on the kitchen table before we left."

"Shit."

We all stared at Leonardo, helpless about what to do next. I hadn't felt my family be this vulnerable for such a long time. Years, even. Sure, Raph would run off, Leo would go on training runs and lose track of time. We'd even been in a few fights since the downfall of foot. But I'd never really felt like any of us was in any real, tangible danger.

"Then what do we do?" April appealed to him. She seemed to have the voice right now that the rest of us didn't.

"We start looking." Leo replied weakly. He started to try and stand, his expression firm. I knew better than to tell him no. Instead, I grabbed his arm steadied him as he moved toward the window. Even though he was exhausted, I knew he would never rest until he found Raphael.

Hopefully in one piece.

"Wait." Casey stepped in front of both of us, blocking our path. "Shouldn't we split up or something?"

Leo paused, considering. "Yeah, I think we should," he answered. "Mike?"

"Yep."

"You and Casey probably know where he goes when he's mad better than any of us. Check all of them, but stay together."

Casey nodded. "I'll go start my car. Mike, why don't you…" he hesitated, looking for something. He grabbed a blanket that was draped over the back of the couch and side- armed it to Michaelangelo. "Here, wrap this around you and I'll meet you out front."

Mike caught the blanket with one hand. "Geez. Did you have to grab the pink one?" he yelled at Casey, who was already out the front door. Groaning, he fashioned a make-shift garment out of the velvet material. He looked like a fat, hunchbacked grandmother. If the situation wouldn't have been so tense, I would have been rolling, but as it was I kept a straight face.

Once Michaelangelo was out the door, Leo turned back to April. "April, I want you to come with us. We're gonna head back to the lair and get Master Splinter, then we can search the sewer." His voice got quiet. "Maybe he's feeling the same things I am."

I grabbed the window pane, pushing it up forcefully. A stream of raindrops pelted in against my outstretched arms. I let Leo go first, watching him carefully as he climbed through.

Eyes lingering on the window, April paused. "Uh, I think I'll take the stairs," she said.

"We'll meet you in the sewer."

Surprisingly, it didn't take long to reach the lair. I wasn't sure if maybe the rain cooled Leo down, but he seemed much better. He'd quit shaking and was able to walk, even jog, on his own. If it wasn't the rain's doing, I hated to ask what the feeling meant for Raphael. Either he was ok again, or…

"Master? Master Splinter?!" Leo's voice was strong and determined, his leadership skills kicked into autodrive.

"Master, where are you?" I called, rushing to check his room.

Empty. I single candle still burned from the middle of his meditation mat, wax spilling down in a hard puddle. The soft light cast shadows along the back wall as the flame danced melodically.

Re-emerging into the main room, I looked first to Leo, then April. They both shook their heads.

The lair was deserted.

If I wasn't convinced before, I was now. Splinter _never_ left the lair. I couldn't even remember the last time his paws touched the floor of the sewer tunnels. Not only was he getting older, he had grown more fearful of the outside world as the years passed.

Yes, there was definitely something wrong.

As uneasy as I was, Leonardo unsheathed a single katana. April shifted nervously, about to say something, but Leo raised his hand to silence her. The three of us stood, suspended, as shut his eyes. I watched the wrinkles form on his face as he concentrated. I could barely breathe.

Leo groaned, the tip of his katana dropping to the floor to steady himself. He suddenly looked so fragile. I new he needed help, but I didn't move. His concentration was too important.

"There," he whispered, pointing to the back exit of the lair. "I don't know if it's above or below, but I feel something that way." His hand was on his head. "It feels like screaming, if there's such a thing." He fell forward, leaning on the katana, but only for a moment. "April, please stay here. I know you shouldn't be alone, but I still don't know what's out there, and I need Donnie."

Scared, but in agreement, she told him she was fine here. Plus, she could call if either of them came back. While Leo took off into the tunnel, I stopped to hug her briefly.

"Don?" I felt her breath on my neck as she said my name.

"Yeah?"

"Please bring him back."

I squeezed her tighter.


	5. Broken

**Author's Note:**

_First, to my reviewers, thank you, thank you, thank you. Those little words mean the WORLD to me. With school picking back up, it's going to be hard to find motivation to write. Your feedback is the only thing that's going to kick me enough to finish this… (and I have a lot planned, if people keep reading.) So please, to anyone else, please leave a comment as you exit, or at least say hi and tell me about your day! Remember, I give lots of love to people who show me some…_

_Buslady: Me? Kill Raph? Not now, but maybe later…or maybe not…_

_GemDrive: Thanks! I loved the Italian Job. Writing Mike has been WAY more fun than I thought it would be – glad to know I've been doing okay._

_Sporkey Anonymous: Wow, one for every chapter! I could kiss ya! Yes, Raph and April will always hold a special bond for me like they do for you. Since this story is based off of the first movie, I just couldn't leave it out. Hope that you enjoy this one – I found it really tough to write._

_Fallen Hikari: Your review was so appreciated. It really kept me going for this next one, I tried not to disappoint. It's been a while since High School AP English, I'm glad that you think I'm doing okay in that department. My brain has been cluttered with lots of crap since then. As for the realism – that's the main thing I'm striving for. Glad that you feel it. As a final note, Goo Goo Dolls Rock! Ever been to a concert??_

_Yes, I know, I also forgot a disclaimer. But I'm sure you all know that I don't own. That applies to everything. I do, however, want to make sure that I give credit to Golden Harvet/Mirage for my excerpt taken from TMNT I…and to Linchi, for teaching me the art of the well-placed flashback._

**CHAPTER 5: BROKEN**

"**I'm frightened by what I see  
But somehow I know  
That there's much more to come  
Immobilized by my fear  
And soon to be  
Blinded by tears"**

**-Evanescence, _Whisper_**

**LEONARDO**

I did my best to keep my steps steady as I ran down the tunnel, ignoring the pounding between my temples. It was getting worse, which lead me to believe I was going in the right direction. I could hear Donatello's steady breathing beside me as we searched the sewer, his face frozen in silent determination. I didn't tell him how bad the pain was; I couldn't. The last thing that I wanted was him to be worried about me too.

"Hey Leo, hold up a sec," Don huffed, placing his hand across my chest. "Aren't we close to where Raph keeps his bike?"

"Honestly, I'm not sure. I haven't been back there with him in long time," I answered. I suddenly felt bad about my ignorance of my brother's life. Most of the time when he was gone, I had _no idea_ what he was doing. Then again, I supposed it wasn't fully my fault – I was usually the last one he wanted to be around when he was brooding.

Donatello pointed up ahead of us to where the sewer branched into two different tunnels. Both of them still headed in the direction we were going, but at slightly different angles.

"I'm pretty sure it's to the left. I think that's where we should head," he said, looking at me for confirmation.

I nodded. "We should probably be a little quieter too."

"Agreed." Unsheathing his bo, he waited for me to lead the way down the tunnel.

As we continued, I realized that the sound of the thunder and rain was slowly getting louder. Soon, I could barely make out a silvery circle of light, signifying the end of the tunnel. I squinted. There was something there, but it didn't definitely wasn't a motorcycle.

_It looked like a body._

_Master Splinter._

"Oh God," Don breathed, breaking into a sprint.

I couldn't move. Every nerve in my body seemed to be firing at the same time. My senses were overloaded, trying to grasp the reality of what was happening. No, not Master Splinter…

It took Donatello's voice to break me from my trance.

"Leo, HELP ME!"

Stifling a cry, I rushed to where Donatello knelt over the motionless body. When I reached him, I saw that it wasn't just Master Splinter. Raphael was there too. The scene made my breath catch in my throat.

Blood was everywhere. The ground, the walls…everything was stained a dark shade of red. Splinter's fur was so matted with it I could hardly tell what color he was anymore.

When I saw his face, I knew instantly that he was dead. His eyes were frozen open in a painful, glazed-over stare. A mixture of blood and mucus ran from his nose, collecting in a pool in his open mouth. His death had been anything but easy. I felt the sting of tears as I realized that his fingers were curled delicately around Raphael's hand, which was stretched through the grate covering the entrance.

My brother was cleaner because of the rain, but hardly better off. He lay on his stomach, face tucked into his elbow, still wearing the leather suit he used to go to the surface. The left side looked slightly shredded, as if he'd rubbed up against something. One of his legs was mangled beyond recognition. I also noticed a gash along the back of his head, still oozing blood down the back of his neck.

_He looked dead too._

Donatello quickly searched for a pulse against Master Splinter's throat, but I assumed that he also knew he was already dead. He just didn't want to believe it. His search was brief, and he then turned his attention to the barrier between our fallen family members.

He gave the metal a hard shove, trying to push it open. It groaned against his weight, but the lock held it firmly in place. He shook it again in frustration.

"Dammit! Leo, can you break this?" he asked. I saw the panic in his eyes when he realized he couldn't reach Raphael.

"I'm going to have to."

Donatello backed out of my way. Lifting my katana high above my head, I locked my wrists and put all the strength I had behind my strike. My whole body vibrated as the blade struck the padlock.

The prong bent, but didn't break.

"Ah!" I swung again. And again. I unleashed all of the anguish I was feeling into the blows. My father was dead, and I refused to let my brother die too, if he wasn't already.

Finally, on the fourth try, the lock clattered to the ground. Panting, I reached down and threaded Raphael's arm back through the bars before pushing the door back. I felt the warmth of Master Splinter's blood on my feet as I stepped over him.

Donatello supported Raphael's neck as I turned him over. I did everything that I could to keep his leg still. Afraid that I would see the same look of death in his eyes, it was hard to bring myself to look at his face. But once he was on his back, I saw that he was still breathing.

"He's alive Donnie," I said, relief in my voice. The rain continued to pour, soaking both of us quickly.

"Yeah, but I don't know for how long." He was looking at something over my shoulder. Thinking that whoever had done this might still be here, I whipped my head around to see what it was. There was no one, but the dark outline of something else caught my eye. On the hill, wrapped around a tree, was Raphael's motorcycle. The branches above had kept the rain from washing away the mud that covered the red exterior.

Suddenly, things made a little more sense. The accident certainly explained Raph's injuries, but then again, what about Master Splinter? I still wasn't even sure how he died, all the blood made it difficult to find a wound. Whatever had happened to him, it made me unbelievably angry. This was _not_ how he was supposed to die. I knew he was getting older, and I recognized that he would eventually slip away from us. But we should have _all _been with him, warm in the lair…

_With a chance to say goodbye._

"Com'on, we gotta get him back home." Donatello started to take off his bandana. "Give me yours, I'm going to wrap his leg."

I complied, quickly untying the knot. Don fashioned a makeshift bandage, at least enough to protect the wound until we got home. Or keep it from falling apart.

"Okay, I'll take the front half, you get his legs." I told him. Gingerly, we both lifted our battered brother off of the ground.

Raphael was heavy. It was hard for Donatello and me to just hold him, let alone walk with him. Knowing that we needed to keep him as still as possible made the situation even harder.

"What about Master Splinter?" I asked, wincing as I said his name. His death was beginning to feel more real. Hurt burned in my heart.

"We've gotta leave him. At least for now." Donatello, so strong up until this point, started to cry. The tears streamed down both of his cheeks, mixing with the rain. Still, he kept his voice steady. "Raph's the one that needs us."

I knew Don was right. But it made me sick to think of him out in the middle of the sewer, cold and alone. All I wanted was to be near him, tell him how sorry I was for not getting here sooner.

It took us nearly an hour to get back to the lair. At one point I thought I heard Raphael moan, but his eyes remained closed. Although my muscles were screaming with fatigue, I never asked to rest. I focused deep within myself, whispering silently to Master Splinter to give me the strength to save my brother.

**DONATELLO**

"April!" It was hard to yell, I was so tired.

Instantly she opened the door. We almost knocked her over as we barged through, carrying Raphael to the couch in the middle of the room.

"Jesus, what happened?!" she exclaimed, her eyes wide with shock. She gasped when she got a better look at his leg, blood completely soaked through Leo and my bandanas.

"We don't know," I answered, not wanting to waste the time or the energy explaining any more to her. "Leo, I need a bucket of water and a couple towels."

" 'Kay."

"April, come with me and help me get the medical supplies out of my room."

She nodded, glancing one last time at Raphael. It was funny, I remembered years ago when he brought _her_ back here, unconscious, and laid her in the exact same place.

_(Flash)_

"_Are you crazy?"_

"_Yeah Leo, I'm crazy all right," He'd stammered. "I'm looney, okay?" _

"_Why?"_

"_Why? Oh, I don't know, thought I'd do a little redecorating. A couple throw pillows, a TV news reporter…what do you think?"_

_Master Splinter had been surprised to see the woman sprawled across the cushions. "What is the meaning of this?"_

_Raphael's tone changed instantly from sarcasm to a plea for understanding. "She got jumped in the subway; I had to bring her here." My brother certainly had the damsel in distress act down. Although I didn't know it at the time, he'd brought us home the torch we needed to see us through some of our darkest times. _

_For once I was actually thankful for Raphael's impulsiveness. _

_I still kidded April sometimes about how loud she screamed the first time she saw us. She'd kept saying over and over that she was dreaming…_

_(Flash)_

I wished I was dreaming now.

Entering my room, I realized that this was one of those times in my life when I was glad I was so organized. Being the brainy one of the group, the guys seemed to think it was okay to leave the job of "doctor" almost entirely up to me. Hell, what would happen if _I _ever got hurt? It was scary to think of Michaelangelo trying to put stitches in me.

At any rate, I'd done a fair amount of research at April's place on the internet, at least for the basics. I had packets of information printed for anything from fevers to sprained ankles. We'd even gone so far as to request free samples from a medical supply company, pretending to be a veterinary hospital, in case the need would ever arise for something heavy duty. I had lots of stuff; the problem was going to be knowing how to _use_ it.

"Grab that box of print outs," I told April, pointing underneath my bed. She complied, and I picked up the large first aid kit I had sitting on a shelf. I threw two bags of fluids on top before carrying everything out into the living room. Leo was back already, using a half-wetted towel to clean the gash on Raphael's head.

"He's so cold Don," he said, barely looking up. His hand was resting on Raphael's chest as if he was trying to make sure his heart was still beating.

"I'll grab a blanket," April replied. She set the box down by Leonardo and went to grab a comforter off of one of our beds.

"Hey, April?" I yelled after her. She spun quickly. "Could you call Mike and Casey too?" We needed all the help we could get.

"Sure."

I turned my attention back to Raph. Aside from scratches and bruises, his main problems seemed to be his leg and the slice at the base of his skull. I wondered how hard he hit his head. Didn't he always wear a helmet?

Before I cleaned his wounds, the first thing I wanted to do was set up an IV line. His body temperature made me think he was shocky, and he needed something to replace all of the lost blood. Opening the first aid kit, I searched for a catheter, line of tubing, and a roll of sports tape. I found the box of catheters and realized that they came in all different sizes. 18 gauge, 20 gauge, 22 gauge…shit, I had no idea which one to use. Not having time to mess around, I grabbed the 20, thinking it was best to stay somewhere in the middle.

"Okay Leo, I'm going to need some help with this. Find the packet that talks about putting in catheters."

He seemed confused, looking at the small package I held in my hand.

"It's the needle thing that they use to shoot the fluids into the vein."

"Oh." He flipped through the pages in the box, pulling out a single sheet. "I think this is it."

"Good. Now just talk me through this. Go slow."

Leonardo studied the paper, squinting as he tried to understand. "Um, okay, it says to insert the needle into the vein, and then thread the flexible plastic part forward. You'll know you're in if it slides easily."

I took a deep breath. I had a feeling this was going to make me queasy.

Using my left hand to hold off the vein in his arm, I pushed the needle into his skin. I prayed that I was in the right place. To my relief, the plastic tube covering the needle slid forward without resistance. I pulled the needle out, and blood started to backflow out of the catheter.

Panicking at the sight of the dripping blood, Leonardo searched the instructions wildly for what to do next.

"Uh…shit! Um, uh, twist the hub into the end of it!"

_Hub_? What was that? I looked back to the opened packet on the floor. There was another piece inside it, a green screw-like object. I twisted it on to the back of the catheter.

The bleeding stopped. _Whew._ At least I knew what to do from here.

I secured the catheter in place with sports tape and then fetched the coat rack from the other side of the room. The bag of fluids hung easily from one of its braches. Finally, I used the line to connect the two parts. Proud of myself, I watched the liquid travel into Raphael's arm.

April returned, carrying Michaelangelo's blue and red Chicago Cub's comforter. We all teased him about being a Yankee traitor. Especially Raphael. Something told me that when Raph woke up, he'd get some sort of sick pleasure from getting blood on the despised blanket.

April tipped her head to the side, her eyes moving from the fluid bag to Raphael's arm.

"When did you learn how to do that?" she asked, amazed at my ingenuity.

"Just now."

"Huh. You never cease to amaze me, Donatello." She smiled and patted my arm. Leo helped her spread the blanket over him, leaving his left leg uncovered so I could work on cleaning it off. I handed Leonardo some gauze to put over Raph's head.

April sat down on her knees in front of the couch while we attended to our brother. Her head rested against his chest, rising and falling slowly as he breathed. Eyes shut, her lips moved slightly, like she was trying to talk to him as he slept. It wouldn't have surprised me if he heard her.

I'd been sponging off Raph's leg for about fifteen minutes when Casey and Michaelangelo returned to the lair. I could hear them bantering back and forth as they approached, but when they entered the living room their voices stopped suddenly.

"Holy shit. I didn't think it'd be that bad," Casey whispered. He paused. "Not too many people can kick Raph's ass that bad."

Mike looked slightly sick. He walked toward us slowly, gaze locked on Raphael. He stood close to Leonardo, trying to gain some sort of comfort by gripping his forearm. I knew he held Raphael at sort of a God-like status; it frightened him to see his tough older brother looking so fragile.

It was Casey, standing back and watching us gathered in the center of the room, that first noticed that someone was missing.

"Hey Leo…" he hesitated, slightly afraid to ask the rest of his question. We all turned to look at him.

"Where's Splinter?"


End file.
